The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Okay, so you know when you are suppose to have one of those fabulous weekends but everything ends up going wrong?!? Well we just had one of those...

Let me explain!

Round I:

The Good...
It all started out with a fun adventure weekend fishing trip to Lake Powell. Ryan, my dad and I planned to go fishing for a day. The drive was nice, the hotel okay (for the price) and the weather was perfect. I had the perfect sun-dress picked out and was hoping to get a wonderful tan and of course do a little fishing too.

On a side note...
That morning it was a little chilly so I was wearing thermals underneath my perfect sun-dress, which started a whole new round of flack from the peanut gallery on the boat but that is besides the point. Back to my story...

The Bad...
We started fishing...how ever there was NO fish to be found, then it happened, my stomach just started churning. No, not motion sickness! It was worse...my period! That with a combination of a new medication that makes me a little sick to my stomach is not always a good thing to have when stuck in a boat with no marina around. Ugh! Needless to say...I had to go the bathroom BAD!!! After stopping once and doing my business in the great outdoors...about an hour later I decided that I needed a more "official" way of completing the process I had already started...Alas, we saw an outhouse in the distance...

The Ugly...
One word..."WINTERIZED"! Do you now what "winterized" means to a grown female women who practically ripped her perfect sun-dress off just to make it to the toilet on time?!? No Matt...I did NOT crap my pants. However, you can only image what one will resort too in an effort NOT to crap their pants. I wish I could forget it all together...and I am willing to bet the nice young man and his dog that surprised me at my 2 o'clock would like to forget as well. Jim from Idaho, if you are out there reading this...this one's for you!

Round II:

The Good...
Although the economy stinks right now Ryan and I both still have jobs.

The Bad...
Ryan works for Sportsman's Warehouse and last week they announced that they are closing about 23 stores and sold 15 to the Canadians.

On a side note...Ryan's store here in St. George is one that is staying in business. Thank goodness!!!

The Ugly...
Sportsman's Warehouse just announced today they are filing Chapter 11!

Round III:
The Good...
After a long day on the lake, we got home without a hitch!

The Bad...
As dad and Grandpa Clark were leaving, Grandpa pointed out that someone managed to dump "black water" on the side of our property. What is "black water" you ask?!? In short, it's poop.

Yes, Matt...We had Sh*t in our front yard (It had seemed that my problems at Lake Powell, managed to follow me back home. Except...this time instead of digging a hole, it was now coming out of the hole) I believe this is natures way of saying..."Oh yeah, I will show you!"

The Ugly...At first, we thought it was one of our less-than-friendly neighbors dropping off a new form of a flaming bag of pooh. We went around to a couple of neighbors to see if they had seen anyone suspicious, no one had. Ryan started to clean it up when we realized that no one had actually dumped anything...this was our drain from the house. It was backed up! We called the City and someone can out and worked on it for about an hour however, no luck. He determined that some kids had thrown a couple rocks down the hole clogging the drain and he couldn't fix it. We then called a plumber to respond "after hours" ($$$) and he worked on it for 2 or 3 hours and again no luck!!! He says it's not just a couple rocks...he estimated that there are two or three feet of rocks down that hole. It is now 11 o'clock at night and he is going to be back tomorrow ($$$$) to try a different way of un-clogging the drain. If that doesn't work we (by we...I mean someone else) will be then digging up the sewer system and fixing it which would cost us thousands!!! Mean while we (by we, I mean myself) will be calling the police and filing a vandalism report and then typing up a nice little letter to all our lovely neighborhood kids and their parents reminding them that vandalism is a crime and to stay off our property from now on! It's sad to say but children under the age of 18 have now been officially trespassed!
I am really upset right now! My stomach still hurts and I can't use the toilet. I also can't use the shower even though I have been surrounded by the the smell of crap ALL DAY!!!

Matt, this reminds me of that time in Hawaii when that seagull turd broke into two mid-flight and totally landed on me...WHY?!?!?!?!?!?

I know you probably have all had a good laugh right now...and in a couple years I will probably remember this and have a good laugh too, but for right now when you add up Round I, Round II, and Round III along with that time in Hawaii (that dang seagull ruined a perfectly good vacation)...I am fed up. It's official...

The Sh*t has hit the fan!!!

I hope everyone else is having a better day then we are! Donations to the SCUC - "Smith's-clogged-up-crapper fund" would be greatly appreciated!